We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
