Your mouth is God's brothel.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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