Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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