Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was like eating out sand paper
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
