woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
