Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
