Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So many bounce houses so little time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
