fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
