Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
