I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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