we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
