FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I want her autograph on my taint
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
