Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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