yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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