Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
