i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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