You're completely useless in the revolution.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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