when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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