I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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