You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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