another moral hangover. fuck.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
