I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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