So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
