It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
