just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
