I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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