I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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