Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
