If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you never un-have a 4some
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
