I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
