East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
