can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
