hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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