on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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