LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
