if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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