Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
