Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
