never play flip cup with pint glasses
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
