why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
