I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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