make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
