her vagina looked like bernie madoff
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
