I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry about my life...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
