I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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