and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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