when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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