my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
