Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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