I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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