My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
