it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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